Grant me Strength

What a day!!! If only I could push pause and really slap some people then push play and let them feel the sting..

I'm rambling this will be for sure. If you read this and can not get anything out of it don't worry it is not you.. I am in one of those moods that with my day and my brain waves things are shooting from every direction and I honestly don't know how or in which order to write things. So instead of waiting and mind figuring things out I am just writing things down as they come at me.

It has been pushed from way up top to the lowest ranking Soldier what the signs are when a Soldier is in trouble. So why would you continue to notice these signs but continue to push the Soldier in a direction that you know will not end well? That folks is the million dollar question...

It as been a day of turmoil and troubles with a dash of smiles but mostly heartbreak.. Yes trying to put some humor in my day but honestly how I made any one smile today is beyond me. I am glad to say that I did make several Soldiers day with just an ear and a smile and that I am grateful to know. There are others that were happy that I have the heart and the ear to listen knowing there is not much I can do but am willing to struggle with them and fight the fight along with them.  Then there are those that are in fear of retaliation and fear stepping forward just to be heard, these I just dropped the words of friendship and left the thought in them that they have a place to turn. Hoping those little things are heard in them and they come seeking what they need. Though not completely sure it will work I will continue to keep watch and move as needed to help those in need. 

I do know that when my instinct tells me don't move I don't. When it tells me to jump I don't even ask how high I jump as high as I can.  So with it telling me to stay close and to continue to keep an open heart and open door I am. I'm not feeling well on some accounts and with some struggles that others are facing and not much I can do for them but listen and put my two cents to those that can make a difference, in hopes they will listen to me and do what is right. So that is what I have done all day and all week.

Someone I work with said something to me earlier this week that I did not look the same as normal that I looked like something was wrong or that something had me occupied. To be honest I did not realize something was eating at me until today. Today is when everything showed it true colors and really made me look at more than what I was really seeing. I am glad that I know what I am looking for when others do not know they are showing it, I am glad I know how to approach a subject with out approaching it directly. I'm glad that I do not instill fear for some one to totally shut down around me. I am glad that people feel they can approach me and not receive judgment or ridicule.  For these traits I carry strong and with out shame I am blessed.  I will continue to do what my instincts tell me and will continue to be there for those in need. Even if I can't change things entirely I can drop the bomb and show the scene and make the difference in other ways for those in need. I will get their voice heard one way or another and with out retaliation or them fearing something bad could happen out of it..

Okay enough rambling.. I will keep those in turmoil in my prayers tonight and every night in hopes they find what they are truly needing and for seeing what they may not see right now.  I pray that those struggling realize there is more ahead that will be better and today is just one day and it too has passed.  The past we can not change, today is the past ready to happen and tomorrow is the future of what we can do to make our past better

Night all and God Bless..